Greetings from 2017! And what a great year it’s shaping up to be!
Poverty and hunger have been almost eradicated across the globe, after the surprising discovery that flying killer robots are also capable of delivering bundles of hope and cheer. The resulting outbreaks of good feelings caused people to overlook centuries of colonialism and tribal conflicts and work together as neighbors.
This led to record-breaking agricultural production in all global markets. The abundance of low-cost food further freed up resources for capital investment in critical infrastructure, launching developing nations into a standard of living rivaling, and in some cases surpassing, that of developed nations.
And this is all thanks to the wisdom and beneficence of Our Glorious World Leader. Our Glorious World Leader was the first to recognize the true causes of the problems facing humanity, and to act swiftly and decisively to eliminate The Great Betrayer.
It was The Great Betrayer who caused the shortages of energy, food, and water after Our Glorious World Leader’s Bill of Provision guaranteed these to everybody as basic human rights, and defined the system of production quotas and price controls to ensure that each producer maximized their own output for the strength of the nation.
Only The Great Betrayer could have hacked this perfectly designed system, causing overproduction of some resources and shortages of others. But Our Glorious World Leader trumped this challenge by building the OWN camps where we all live now, in a perfectly regimented system of harmony.
I’ve had some personal changes, too. As recently as 2016, I called myself a Hardcore Rothbardian Anarcho-capitalist Voluntarist. But I’ve been cured!
The doctors gave me “The Treatment” and now I fully embrace the importance of a powerful monopoly government, led by Our Glorious World Leader.
“Anarchitecture Podcast” has been rebranded to “An Architecture Podcast” where we repeatedly discuss how great “The Tent” design is, because all other forms of architecture have been obliterated due to their interference with Our Daily Plan, and possibilities for espionage by The Great Betrayer.
Our Glorious World Leader was so widely recognized as the wisest and greatest leader that all other world governments pledged their allegiance to Our Glorious World Leader and joined “The Compact” which integrated their people into Our World Nation (OWN).
All, except The Great Betrayer.
BTW, in a show of solidarity, Facebook created an algorithm to automatically change any reference to Our Glorious World Leader to “Our Glorious World Leader.” So if I type “Our Glorious World Leader” you will see it as “Our Glorious World Leader.” This might be confusing, since where I typed “Our Glorious World Leader” in the previous sentence, Facebook automatically converted it to “Our Glorious World Leader.” Same thing for that last sentence.
In case you missed it, Donald Trump and Mike Pence were both killed in a freak car accident just before their inauguration, which prompted an unprecedented flash re-election by popular referendum. This is how Our Glorious World Leader finally came into power despite the previous treachery of The Great Betrayer.
Our World Nation still has some work to do, though. The Great Betrayer and his army of hackers is still at large and threatening to disrupt our progress, even after Our Glorious World Leader had the courage and poise to vaporize The Dark Cities with multiple nuclear strikes.
There’s also the radiation sickness that has been going around.
But the year is young, and Our Glorious World Leader is already working on a vaccine.
WE SHALL PROSPER, ALWAYS AND TOGETHER!
(Note – I’m posting this a couple of hours before midnight here in Adelaide, so it’s not actually 2017 yet. None of the above has yet come to pass.
But OMG I CAN’T WAIT!!!)
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